The big blog

Desperate times, they say, call for desperate measures. But this is getting ridiculous.

Wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me first make it clear what I mean by desperate times. Yes, I’m talking about the economy. (And if “desperate” doesn’t feel accurate to you, if you think that the media and politicians are exaggerating things, talk to someone who just got laid off. There are plenty of them out there.)

So, with our context firmly established, what are the aforementioned desperate measures? Well, since this is the blog of an advertising and marketing firm, you might think I’m referring to some outrageous publicity stunt, some preposterous expenditure on TV commercials, some instance of a business indiscriminately throwing buckets of money at an ad agency in the hope of ratcheting up sales. But, frankly, these scenarios wouldn’t really qualify as acts of desperation. You see, every time there’s an economic downturn, all the business experts raise their voices in unanimous chorus to tell us that challenging periods like this are exactly when a business should up its marketing and advertising budget, or at least maintain it. The most successful businesses coming out the other end of a tough economic cycle, the ones quickest to rebound and primed for new opportunities, are the ones that kept spending ad dollars, even as those dollars became harder and harder to come by.

That’s what all the financial gurus say, anyway. And, because I work in the ad business, I’m always quick to spread that word. So do people listen? Typically, no. Marketing budgets are usually among the first to be cut. And if it’s a choice between running ads or maintaining staff, you can’t really blame a business that shows loyalty to its employees.

So if advertising isn’t the desperate measure at hand, what is? I should preface my answer by saying: I know that Americans, in general, aren’t the most scientifically literate people on the planet. Our testing scores in math and science are pretty sad compared to other nations. And the public at large can a lot more likely name all of Brangelina’s kids than list the steps in the scientific method.

But still. Fortune tellers? Really?

Because that’s what I heard on NPR this morning. One of the acyclical businesses that is, if not booming, then enjoying a big uptick in revenue, is the fortune-telling gig. And the fortunes they’re increasingly asked to predict are of the economic variety, rather than the tried-and-true “will I meet the mate of my dreams?” One ethereal entrepreneur reported that a big percentage of her clients are realtors, looking for insights on how well a home fits a particular prospect. (Is it any wonder this whole economic meltdown started in the real estate sector?)

Desperate times. Desperate measures. Indeed. But I don’t think I’ll trade my Mac for a crystal ball just yet.