Love stinks?
Bitter recriminations. Revenge fantasies. Self-loathing. No, I’m not describing my typical Saturday night. I’m simply reporting on the direction toward which many conversations seem to turn at the mere mention of Valentine’s Day. Even folks with no particular romantic axe to grind—for instance, those in a happy, stable relationship—don’t exactly look forward to the holiday with gleeful anticipation. At best, it seems, the event’s a nuisance, representing another obligation to identify and purchase the perfect gift, with all the attendant doubt and worry over the recipient’s reaction—and so hot on the heels of Christmas, too.
Granted, there are some who find a celebratory tone amid the cynical cacophony, but I’ve grown to expect ranting, raving, and general venting from friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike this time of year. Still, I was surprised during a recent exchange about the imminent arrival of Cupid and his arrows. Not because my friend’s attitude was positive—it most assuredly was not, given the dark glow of hatred in her eyes—but because of the particular slant of her disdain. The negativity was not due to any romantic baggage—she hates Valentine’s Day because, in her words, it’s a manufactured holiday.
Now, as an advertising professional, I was certainly acquainted with the idea of what’s also known as a “Hallmark Holiday,” a holiday that exists primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to celebrate a traditionally important religious or secular event. Frequently cited culprits include Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Administrative Professionals’ Day (formerly Secretary’s Day), and—yes—Valentine’s Day. What makes the idea especially repellant to many is how these holidays are rumored to have come about—through the calculated, heartless design of businesses that stand to profit from the new holiday’s celebration, businesses like card and stationery companies, candy manufacturers, and flower distributors. In other words, it’s one thing for a holiday to have reached a point where it is mainly about generating profit, but quite another for the holiday to have been specifically engineered for that purpose from the start.
But is Valentine’s Day really a Hallmark Holiday? Or, more precisely, is it a manufactured holiday? Certainly, it represents a bonanza for the card and flower and candy and jewelry and restaurant industries, to name but a few. For that reason, it meets the definition of a Hallmark Holiday. But was it cynically manufactured? What’s the history?
Well, a quick reference check will assure even the most jaded and hard-hearted among us that Valentine’s Day has been around a lot longer than conspicuous consumerism. How much the various St. Valentines and Catholic feastdays and old Greco-Roman February holidays have to do with our modern Valentine’s Day is a subject of some dispute, but it’s generally acknowledged that the first recorded association of February 14 with romantic love was in a work by Chaucer in 1382.
Party on, then, if you’re so inclined, free of consumer guilt or anti-materialist ire, safe in the knowledge that sincere celebrations of love have been associated with February 14 for centuries. But you should probably know, too, that our modern American version was originated in the 1840s by Esther Howard. Her father owned a stationery store.